Why can't we all just get along?

Every day I feel that hatred is taking over our lives. One of the biggest issues that I see around our community and world is race. I teach a group of students that are so different from each other and myself. I work so hard at showing my students that I don't look at them and see color. I see "my kids". I see the children that I spend more time with than my own. I see the future of our world. I see the innocence. I see the comedians in little human bodies. I see so much potential.

 But when they leave my classroom, do they continue to hear this? Do they feel accepted by the rest of the world? I want them to feel accepted. I may not always agree with choices they make or lives they live, but I will always love them. I will always accept them. I hope that as Will and I raise our child and future children, that we can teach them the same. End rant. 

28 things in 28 years

Next Friday I will be Turing 29. I used to be scared of getting older. Seriously, there was a fear. However, I have come to realize that getting older has good aspects. I'm becoming wiser. I think. The past year, I have learned a lot about myself and about how life really is. In honor of the end of my 28th year, I will list (because lists are awesome) 28 things I've learned...the good and bad. 

1. Life isn't fair. I think I even used that statement during this past year. It isn't fair. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do innocent children get sick and die? Why did my granddaddy not beat cancer completely and others do? Why, why, why...I don't have an answer but I have made a promise to myself to live every single day with no regrets. 

2.  I'm a good mom. I think every single day something happens that makes me doubt myself. It's all lies because I am good. I'm going to make mistakes but that's ok. 

3. I love being married to my best friend. There is something about waking up every morning knowing that he's got my back. He knows how to make me laugh when I'm feeling down. He is such an encourager. 

4. Friendships change. This has been very hard for me to deal with. I knew after Will and I got married, some friendships would be slightly affected. But when I got pregnant, things changed so much. And since Camille has been born, our friend list has decreased. It hurts but I can't dwell on it. Look at everything I do have! 

5. New friends are good. While Will and I have seen some friendship weaken, we have gained to friends. We have met some amazing couples (and singles) in our church. They have a special place in my heart. 

6. Home is good. I have always been a person that loved to go and do. However, I'm happy being at home the majority of the time. I like to visit, but I love being at home with my little family. Plus, traveling with a baby isn't always enjoyable. Would you want to be strapped in a carseat for hours?? I don't blame her if she cries. 

7. The grass isn't always greener. Everyone has issues, no matter how pretty they look from the outside. 

8. I love to cook. Five years ago, I was the woman catching the stove on fire cooking spaghetti noodles. Now, I love it. And I love to try new things. 

9. Sleep isn't that important. I've realized how little sleep I can function on. 

10. Good things really do come when we wait. I'm watching things fall into place every day. I will continue to try to wait patiently. 

11. People play favorites...even family. It's true. I've seen it with my own eyes. 

12. I'm going to be a minivan mom. No lie. We've already started looking...and I'm a little excited. 

13. Life is not a completion. Why is everyone trying to outdo everyone else? Just be happy with what you have. This applies to me too. 

14. Skinny should not be the goal in our lives...healthy is what we need. Stop trying to be something your aren't. 

15. Big crowds and extremely loud music...stupid. I don't want that many people touching me or my ears ringing for days. I'm too old for that. 

16. Baby cuddles are the best. Period. There is nothing better than Camille resting on my chest or taking a little nap with her in the afternoons. 

17. Rap music is dumb. I just don't understand why I used to like it....maybe the beat??

18. Becoming a mother has changed me as a teacher. As teachers, we like to treat our students like little machines. They should do this, they should be acting like this, they should sit down and not talk for the entire class. Little machines. While at the beginning if motherhood, I was doing that with Camille. She should be eating this amount, she should be sleeping, etc. When I discovered I was treating her like a machine, I realized I do the same thing with students. They are little humans....not robots. 

19. Teaching is not about test scores. Teaching is about helping those kids through anything, not just the standards. Those children need to know we care about them. 

20. I don't need an hour and a half to get ready anymore...ain't nobody got time for that. 

21. I'm stronger than I thought. I mean, I did grow a baby. 

22. Racism is still everywhere. Why can't we all just be people? 

23. I'm a lot more tolerate of those that are different. I grew up in a very small town and didn't see the different lifestyles that people live. While I may not always agree with the way people live, I will still love the person they are. I will teach my children that type of tolerance as well. 

24. Children's clothes are way too overpriced. She grows so fast and wears some outfits once. Why would I spend that much money on such a little piece of material? Does she want diapers and formula or clothes?? 

25. Will and I both have awesome families. Some people aren't that blessed...I try my best not to take it for granted. 

26. No matter where I live or how long I'm away, Hawkinsville will always be "home". I doubt we will ever move back, but that's my home and where I grew up. 

27. I'm probably never going to be a Pinterest mom. Sometimes I'm jealous of these moms that seem to have the perfect everything. Most likely, that will not be me. Maybe I will surprise myself. 

28. I have The Lord to thank for everything I have been given. I will continue to thank him and praise him. It just keeps getting better. 

8 weeks

A Yesterday was my first Mother's Day...this time last year I was putting the finishing touches on our wedding. Life is full of surprises and this was probably the best surprise of all. Being a mom is one of the greatest gifts I could have ever gotten. No other material gift could be better than the one I'm holding now. I've heard of love at first site...and I believe it. This baby girl has my heart. When she smiles at me I swear my heart gets a little bigger. 

In these short 8 weeks, I have changed so much. I get excited about poopy diapers. I cheer when Camille burps. I spend more time choosing her outfit than I do my own. I know what each cry means....hungry, tired, hurt tummy, or just mad. I love being home with her every day...I get to watch her change and grow. My absolute favorite thing is rocking her sleep at night....or any time during the day. I love when she looks up at me with those beautiful big eyes and snuggles up against my chest. It has become our nightly routine and I wouldn't change it at all. I will rock her until she is 20 if she wants me to. 

On Monday I have to go back to work. I'm dreading it. Even though its only for 4  1/2 days, it breaks my heart to not be here all day. I know the first day will be so rough....and I'm sure I'm going to cry. I'm blessed to have the entire summer to stay home with her but I will definitely miss her next week. 

 

As I celebrated yesterday, I thought of friends of mine that don't have children for various reasons. I pray that if motherhood is something you desire, that The Lord will give you the desires of your heart. And those if you with fur babies...you are a momma too. So Happy Mother's Day to you all. 

A little goofy time with my family

Workin' On My Fitness...

This morning I completed my first post-baby workout. I hear other women talk about how great it felt, how excited they were to get back at it. Well, let me be totally honest...it sucked. I had stopped working out before I got pregnant and it continued like that throughout my pregnancy. I could kick myself in the butt for doing that. I don't know if I have ever been this out of shape in my life. I'm ready for that to change. 

I don't like to exercise. I never have. I'm not a big fan of sweating. It feels gross. But I want to keep up with my daughter and any future children Will and I are blessed to have. And...I don't want to give up any food I love. Food is good. So because I want to get healthy again, keep up with my daughter and continue to eat the foods I love....I will run. I will sweat. I will get gross. 

I am not posting this as a way to brag. If you would have seen me on the treadmill you would understand there is nothing to brag about. Trust me. I'm posting this to keep myself accountable. Right now I'm keeping my exercising out of the public eye to avoid embarrassment for myself (and so others won't feel uncomfortable).  

I completed day 1 of week 1 of Couch to 5K. (http://www.c25k.com/) If you've never done this before you should. I did it years ago and it works. Weeks one and two are the worst in my opinion. I'm just telling myself that it does get easier and it will pay off. 

Now I get to enjoy the rest of my day with my beautiful girl....and maybe do a little housework. Maybe. 

8 Things I Want My Daughter To Know

As I was feeding Camille at 4 o'clock this morning, I started thinking about everything I want our daughter to know. I want her to understand each of these things now, but I know it will be a long time before she does. Here are the 8 things I want her to know....

Camille,

1. You will never know how much I love you until you have a child of your own. There is no way I can ever tell you the impact you have had on my life.
2. Find a man that loves you and treats you like your Daddy does. You deserve nothing less.
3. Love Jesus first. Always.
4. You are beautiful. No matter what anyone says to you...no matter how you feel about yourself...you are gorgeous.
5. Laugh. Laugh a lot. Laugh at yourself. If you are anything like your Momma, you will do some dumb stuff. Laugh about it.
6. Listen to your parents. We don't know everything...but we are smarter than you think. You will figure this out in about 25 years.
7. Accept my apologies. I am going to make mistakes. Lots of mistakes. When I do, expect an apology and accept it.
8. Cherish your family...some people aren't lucky to have awesome grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins...you do.

Camille Anne

I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling our sweet baby girl move every day. But I loved labor and delivery even more. Sounds insane, right? The pain was rough...not going to lie. But the anticipation is something that I will never be able to explain.

On March 18 at 11:31 AM, I gave birth to a healthy, 6lb 5oz, baby girl. She decided to arrive 2 1/2 weeks early and has been doing her own thing ever since. It's hard to believe its been five weeks. I can't remember what life was like before she was here. In these five weeks I have learned a lot...and I've got a lot left to learn.

People give you advice. Lots of advice. People tell you what to expect. However, nothing can really prepare you for parenthood. These are a few things I have figured out for myself.

1. It's ok to be completely clueless. Our parents didn't have a manual either....and we survived.
2. It's ok to stay in your pajamas all day at least once a week. You may add a day or two if necessary.
3. It's ok if your house isn't clean all the time. If someone comes to visit, they are looking at the baby, not your dirty dishes.
4. It's ok to not be on a schedule immediately. You and your child are both learning...it will come with time.
5. It's ok to cry. Sometimes there isn't anything you can do...
6. It's ok to NOT follow the many pieces of advice you are given. Trust your instincts...
7. It's ok to become a proud parent and brag about your baby 24/7. I mean, you created perfection, right??

I could continue on and on...and maybe I will on another blog but my brain is tired. This is day #4 without a nap and its catching up with me. Here are a few of my favorite pictures...

Changes, Trials, and Thankfulness

Sometimes I wonder if life is going to slow down or if I'm always going to feel like I can't really relax for a few minutes. Then I laugh. Of course it's not....I'm having a baby in a few months! 

Since we found out at the end of October that baby C is a girl, we have been talking about our sweet Camille Anne nonstop. She is already starting to get clothes in her closet and her bed should be here sometime next week. It's insane. With all the happiness, there have been situations that have caused us some stress.  

Over the last month, our lives have changed a lot...that seems to be a theme for the Curtis' lately. 
1.Will quit working at the company he had been a part of for the past 2 1/2 years. He is working at the local Christian bookstore which has been a blessing to both of us. 
2. We moved....which is zero fun when pregnant and you aren't allowed to lift anything heavy. Luckily, I have the world's most awesome husband who must be Superman. 
3. I had the biopsy done on my thyroid. Everything came back normal and the surgeon just wants me to come back in 6 months for a follow up. 

Through everything that has been happening, I try to stay positive. But, I'm the one in the relationship that worries. Someone has to do it right? There are so many unknowns right now. There are so many things that I cannot change or see coming...and if you know me at all, you know I'm not a fan of surprises. I try really hard to not be "that crazy pregnant lady" that cries all the time, but it seems to be something that I can't control. Between being stressed and hormones...I don't even feel like myself most days. 

People always things could be worse. To those people, I want to throw something at your face....but they are correct. Will and I are blessed. We have a roof over our head. We have a pantry and fridge full of food. We have two pups that adore us. We have all the technology we could need. We are healthy. We both have jobs. We have a healthy growing baby girl that we will be able to love on in just a few months. We have families that support us and take care of us. We have friends that love us and pray for us. Yes. Things could be a lot worse. 

I can honestly say that Will and I have a stronger relationship than we have ever had. I could not imagine going through life with any other partner. The Lord has blessed me with the perfect match. 

Every morning, my mom sends a "Thought for the Day" email. This morning it was simply this verse. It's a verse I've heard my entire life and recited many times...this morning it was exactly what I needed to start my day. "Trust in the Lord with all you hear, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6